We're All Cult Members Now
The division in our country has officially reached Twilight Zone level.
I’ve been putting this off because I wasn’t going to talk about politics on my Substack, but I was going to talk about cultism. So what do you do when these two have merged so deeply that they are one and the same?
After the election, I spent most of the week texting with friends and family, trying to put out fires while also noticing the anxiety building inside myself. In the old days, it was so easy. The other team was the “bad guys,” we were the good guys, and we thought we had a pretty firm grasp on reality. But this past week, I find my anxiety is less about which candidate is or isn’t in office, and instead it stems from an apparent total loss of truth for everyone.
I know people, respectable, intelligent, kind, normal humans who are all very close to me, and very close to each other, who all voted for opposite sides. I reached out to everyone after the election trying to understand and listen as best I could to how everyone was feeling, and what stood out to me the most, what was the most unsettling, and frankly disturbing, was the complete lack of actual political debate replaced by a debate of what is real. The more I talked to people, the more my brain started to bend, and I started to doubt my own ability to perceive reality. Have I been fear-mongered just as bad as everyone else? What is real? I actually don’t even know anymore.
This next part is my best interpretation of both sides after getting off the internet and talking to real life human beings. If you’re deep into it, then one of these might spark your defenses, but I invite you to get through it and read to the end. Here is what I’ve learned:
The left is currently grieving. Some of them are actually grieving and have set up their phone cameras, pushed record, and proceeded to sob. The left is shocked and appalled that a man who inspires the hearts of our Neo-nazi youth, as well as actual online cult communities, and who caused an insurrection has been RE-elected. They see somebody who speaks carelessly, divisively, and who shamelessly uses tactics to earn votes that incite violence and prejudice. (They’re eating the dogs?) They see a rapist, a convicted felon, a con-man, and the possible rise of a charismatic, Christian-nationalist, dictator coming to power before their very eyes. They see the total loss of respect for women, a total loss of respect for people of color, an increase in trans suicide rates, the regression of everything the gay-rights movement has fought for, and the slow and steady death of public education, which is the very foundation of our society, and of the environment, which is planet earth as we know it. With Musk in the mix we are clearly a plutocracy and they cannot believe that we are putting an unhinged person who tweets like a petty middle-schooler in charge of the nukes. They are hanging on by a thread of hope while everyone else watches in wonder and shock at their apparent “ridiculous, narcissistic, out-of-touch, brain-washed overreaction.”
The right is relieved right now. They are relieved that the innocence of children is now going to be protected, that real, practical issues that effect our everyday lives are finally going to be addressed, and that wholesomeness, grace, and honor are going to be priorities again, (after watching Sam Smith turn into a literal demon in his last music video). They feel that their right to free speech has been saved, and that rural and small-town America will now be preserved and protected. They are finally feeling heard and valued as human beings as opposed to feeling like the only underprivileged group the left couldn't care less about and proceeds to mock. They are tired of constantly walking on eggshells and hopeful that comedy might be allowed again. They are looking forward to a leader who is transparent, authentic, and who actually tells it like it is. They feel that the economy will do much better under this president, that they’ll be able to afford to feed their family, and that they’ll be a lot safer with someone in office who excels at national security and who wants to maintain the United States’ status as a world power, better yet, the world power. They see a man who has been changed by a near-death assassination attempt, and who genuinely wants to do his best for the American people. They are content, and everyone else is watching in wonder and shock at their “brain-washed following of a totally self-centered, master of manipulation, unprincipled, man behind the curtain.”
Which island of reality do you live on?
Sometimes people use their values as ammunition for the truth. For example, if they are pro-choice then the first reality must be true! If they are pro-life then the second reality must be true etc. It is one or the other, black and white, no room for both. (Red flag number one!) But even if your values and opinions are set in place, even if you think you know what is right and what is wrong, that has nothing to do with being able to correctly assess what you are perceiving around you, and although our political opinions seem like they should always be the most important thing, this time around maybe they actually are not. What good does it do to fight for a cause if we are all just living in a dream? Understanding the truth about the reality of the world we live in has to, must always be, our number one priority because the truth is all we have.
In the past, the wealthiest people controlled the population and everyone, for the most part, knew it. Nowadays, we are being given the illusion of freedom without actually being free. We can still say what we like for the most part, but what we consume is highly curated. ALL of us. We still have our right to free speech, but what good does that do if we do not have a right to free thought? What good does that do if our hearts’ inclination towards goodness and betterment is being taken advantage of in order to destroy our critical thinking skills and keep us fiercely attached to an external belief system? A neatly, excellently branded, idealism package. Like a cult.
Ever since I was old enough to understand what brainwashing and cultism were, I’ve been disturbed by them, and I’ve always had the feeling that everyone else should be more disturbed by them than they are. Psychological manipulation is commonplace in our consumer society. It’s how we make money. Many people take their marketing skills to the lowest of the low levels and get praised and rewarded financially for it. 50% of the baby boomer population left traditional churches because of the rigid, cult-like, regression of what were supposed to be spiritual teachings. For some of them, their efforts were futile as they found themselves back in actual cults in the 1960s and 70s. Huge, powerful cults like Scientology actually exist in our country with tax-exempt status, and are currently recruiting vulnerable, innocent, people as I write this, and politics doesn’t seem to be any different from any of it.
It’s normal for us to constantly avoid politics and religion in every day conversations in order to literally save our relationships. But since we’re in the businesses of normalization, or in this case de-normalilzation, when will we ever wake up to the fact that this is actually not normal at all? When will the abuse of our minds become something we understand and talk about as NOT okay? I think an obscure sect of the New Age movement tried to do this recently only to find themselves banding together as the “awakened ones,” openly mocking and judging others, calling them “sheep,” indulging yet again in their own version of moral superiority, and creating their own set of anti-conformist beliefs that bordered on crazy and were, by their very nature, conformist.
Personally, I LOVE communities. Once I finally find a group of people where I feel safe to be myself, I feel as if I can totally thrive, and because of that I feel genuine love for every member of the group. But as a nation, as a society, for the very fabric of democracy, we ALL need to take a step back, reflect, get humble, and admit that reality and morality, are a thousand times more complicated and nuanced than two distinct, perfectly manicured, identities that we either embody or disdain. We need to understand that in the end, we can have the best, most perfect moral disposition, we can believe in the best, most purified, angelic set of ideals, but if our egos are involved, it really doesn’t matter at all.
The ego around the system is always its downfall, no matter what it is: politics, religion, activism, etc. The bigger the ego gets, the more hypocritical the movement becomes, until it eventually gets so extreme it inverts on itself and becomes the very thing it set out to destroy. Maybe this is just meta-physics, or maybe we do actually have the ability to become self-aware and change it. Because the real enemy is actually not your kind, friendly, neighbor with the wrong sign in their yard. The real enemy is the fear you have of reaching out and listening to their side with as much curiosity and compassion that you can muster. The real enemy is no longer “them,” but the overinflated egos we all have about our identities, who we are, our goodness, and the complete and total fear that is driving this self-image. Who would we be if we approached these topics with an open-mind? How ironic is it that both sides, without missing a beat, might answer: “A fascist.” ?
Cultism is fueled by the fear of open-mindedness and confuses it with lack of moral direction. It is fueled by fear of self-empowerment, and fear of turning inward for the peace and security we constantly seek. It grows like a tumor, always keeping us attached to the identity we’ve created around being better, being saved, and being safely part of a group with an inspiring leader. It is destroyed by our ability to stay awake to what is actually true and real, being able to admit how much we really do not know, and by finding independence from our external reality as a means for internal survival.
If you want to make a change, if you really want to make the world a better place, it is not time to band together and fight, as seductive as that may seem. Instead, it is time to remember where your true power lies, and that is within. Your ability to stay calm, curious, and compassionate, yes even towards the people whom you deem as “evil,” will be the saving grace of our democracy. Your ability to remember that empathy and condoning are not synonymous with each other will be your ultimate contribution. If you can remember that the true fight lies within your own being, and that it isn’t even a fight at all, but a constant loving and soothing of your own ego/inner-child, so that you can walk through the world in peace, taking mature, and enlightened action for your causes, you will be a beacon of light shining in an otherwise dark and confusing time.
Maybe we are all cult members right now, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Your consciousness, your self-awareness, is your one true power and that can never ever really be taken from you. It is always there, an eternal flame, burning at the root of your being, patiently and lovingly waiting for you to let it grow. So I invite you to take a moment and remember that your life, right now, is probably exactly the same as it was the day before the election, that the present moment is reality, and that the hypotheticals are not. I invite you to turn off the socials, the news, and the screens, and go outside to listen to the real source of your wisdom, beyond ideals, and thoughts, and noise, and media. Let it all go, and remember what you really are. You are so so much more than your identity, your political leaning, and your belief systems, even the ones you are personally connected to, and when you relax long enough to feel this truth, this is the root of your authentic power. This is when you are free.
Beautifully said Natalie.
To be honest, before reading this, I would have said -- I do not want to hear a another single thing one way or the other related to politics in any way shape or form.
But having known you for even just a short while, I knew whatever you were offering would be genuine, and a reflection of the best of intentions. A bit of light in what can otherwise feel like dark and chaotic times. So glad I stopped by.
"Which island of reality do you live on?" good question... maybe we should all go for a long swim together, away from all of the divisive ideas taking root back on the islands.
Maybe out there in the open waters of the ocean we can get into the flow of real life again.
As hard as it can be at time, I wish more people understood how healing it can be for all partis when we are able to just listen to one another. Likewise, many would likely be surprised by how much weight is lifted when we stop fighting with reality.
This brings to mind the well known quote from Byron Katie: "When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time."
(Sorry / not sorry, given the absurdities of what we're living through, I am imagining there's someone out there reading this, researching Byron Katie and trying to figure out if she's MAGA or a Dem to cast hate her way now...)
Seriously though, I am an old timer -- fondly recall the days back when I was a philosophy major in college. We'd go out drinking, arguing passionately all night long about philosophical ideas, political ideas, and all the rest.
Disagreement was almost a sport, and when done well - it made everyone better for it at the end. And here's the funny part - we'd all still be friends the next day. And we still respected one another.
Of course, we also lacked social media narratives pumping our heads full of narratives and a false sense of reality all day long. We did not have imaginary tribes and distant "friends" we posted things to impress, and thank God we were free to think stupid shit one day, learn from it the next, and change and grow without some permanent record of our "thought crimes" showing up in someone else's feed to haunt us as we went.
It wasn't paradise. There were still groups trying to delete certain thinkers with (sometimes false) accusations of them being antisemitic or what not.
But even that required reading, critical thinking, listening to one another, and time to work through. There was no threat of some instantaneous viral mob emerging out of nowhere to burn you at the stake.
I posted here yesterday about how truth emerges where space is provided for it to emerge. I also shared my perspective that how we relate to it, to ourselves, and to one another has a huge influence over how and when truth chooses to emerge into this world.
So in many respects, we get what we deserve - individually and collectively. I don't say that because it feels good, or because it "resonates with me". I say it because it appears to be a simple truth. And I also get that no one wants to hear that really, because there's so much hurt and anger in the world.
Hope we can get to that stuff sooner than later, healing the hurt and the anger. There's plenty there to keep us busy, once we turn our attention that way.
As a former cult member…I wholeheartedly and passionately approve this message!!!!! Wow Natalie, so beautifully articulated and TRUE. Everyone needs to take big dose of humility, check their egos and wake up to the concept of many truths or the grey, the in between. I’ve been that black and white person and it is so so limiting, I really think it regresses our emotional and intellectual intelligence. Thank you for writing this!